Hardwired

*1/2 – Cuba Gooding Jr’s distinct brand of underacting and Val Kilmer’s preposterous overacting combine in this 2009 direct-to-video futuristic thriller to leave the viewer with an unfortunate and confusing sort of spastic malaise that doesn’t wear off anywhere near quickly enough. This low budget turkey stars Gooding as a former Special Forces soldier in a near future in which corporations have taken over the world, crime is rampant and there are advertisements on everything (probably not too far from what actually lies ahead). After Gooding is mortally wounded in a car accident, Val Kilmer – playing the part of a corporate goon with weird, greasy hair extensions – has a doctor implant some sort of experimental chip into Cuba’s head that will save his life. Unsurprisingly, Kilmer’s motives are not entirely altruistic, and he and his evil henchmen eventually unsuccessfully attempt to kill Gooding through various means such as guns, weird exploding gadgets and good old fashioned fisticuffs. Kilmer’s overacting, bizarre appearance and odd convulsions are so distracting when he is on screen that I found it almost impossible to keep track of what was supposed to be happening in his scenes. On the opposite side of the coin, Cuba Gooding was so lackadaisical and disinterested in his scenes that I found my attention drifting over to my Blackberry when he was on screen. Those two factors were major contributors to my inability to understand who was doing what and why. Overall, “Hardwired” is a very dull and uninspired film, the results of which can’t possibly be anywhere near worth the effort required to comprehend it fully.