Max Payne

*1/2 – This 2008 critically panned adaptation of a 2001 critically acclaimed video game would have been better served by altering the title from “Max Payne” to “Max Pain” because that is what it inflicts on its poor unsuspecting audience. Due largely to the fact that it is extremely choppy and uneven, makes little to no sense in the plot department, and lead performers Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis seem to have great difficulty mustering any emotion whatsoever, this falls right into line with the majority of video game movies that have been produced (i.e. it’s nearly unwatchable). Tasked with spouting lines like “Yeah” and “He went that way”, Wahlberg and Kunis do very little to differentiate themselves from large, lumpy, somewhat animate planks of wood. If that’s not bad enough, the filmmakers decided to make every scene ludicrously dark with the exception of the ones in which there are blazing un battles, and solidified the movie’s crappiness by casting rapper Ludacris in a supporting role. There is one scene in which Wahlberg’s character has a massive gun battle against a fully armed SWAT team with only a pistol (with standard 13-round clip) in his possession. Flying in the face of the laws of the universe, this magical pistol fires at least 60 shots without ever being reloaded. That’s typical of the type of silliness to be found here. I would recommend avoiding this whether you are or are not a fan of the fairly solid video game franchise upon which this non-sensical flash-o-rama is based. Beau Bridges is in this. He should really try to emulate his brother Jeff a little more and try to get some work in movies that aren’t rubbish, and also lose a little weight.