Crank

** – Big, dumb, fast, chaotic, loud and sadistically violent, this 2006 action flick seems on paper to be the type that I would despise. Its plot is simultaneously confusing and stupid, the characters are dopey stereotypes, the score is chuck full of really crappy songs, and it quite often aims for the type of short attention span modern humor that all the kids these days seem to like so much. However, it was quite nicely shot, and despite having about 19 cuts per second and being as confusing as all get out, it left me marginally entertained. The charismatic presence of Jason Statham was probably a major factor in my surprising ability to watch this all the way to the end, as that guy is pretty good in anything, and is an actual bona fide action star unlike these wormy little kids and no-neck macho turds that the film industry tries to keep pawning off on us as such. I do have to point out, though, that if you only watch movies for a good story you are going to be sorely disappointed by this one. Statham runs around and drinks Red Bull and does coke and steals motorcycles and kicks people and bangs his stereotypically ditzy, damsel-in-distress girlfriend up against a newspaper stand in order to keep his adrenaline pumping – which is the only thing keeping him alive – but at points the adrenaline doesn’t seem all that important and Dwight Yoakum is involved somehow. And then he gets shot in the butt, but seems in the next scene to have not gotten shot, so who knows what the hell is going on. It’s really dumb, but decent for a mindless sort of entertainment.