*1/2 – The understanding of this movie seems to be fairly dependent upon seeing the first two films in the series. Luckily, anyone who sees this is probably a young girl who not only has seen but has actually memorized every line from the prior movies or is a curmudgeonly middle-aged man who watches shit movies in order to review them, both groups having likely seen the prior movies. Unsurprisingly, this film features scene after boring scene of banal melodramatic dialogue broken up occasionally by scenes featuring dull stares and cuddling in an open field. There are few things in this world that I find more irritating than people taking themselves and their interactions with others as being the most important thing currently occurring anywhere. The young people these days, however, seem to eat that crap up, due largely to the fact (in my opinion) that their idiot parents instill them with a sense of false over-importance. If you like watching people overestimating their self-worth (and guys wandering around shirtless) you may like this, but if you are like me and despise those sorts of things, I suggest avoiding this 3rd in the series of what is apparently going to be four. There were a couple of halfway decent action sequences featuring nifty albeit unexplained limb-lopping in this (clearly tossed into the film in order to placate the bored boyfriend who was dragged to see this), which I guess is worth a half of a star. Otherwise, it’s an unredeemable overly hormonal emotion-fest.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
*1/2 – The understanding of this movie seems to be fairly dependent upon seeing the first two films in the series. Luckily, anyone who sees this is probably a young girl who not only has seen but has actually memorized every line from the prior movies or is a curmudgeonly middle-aged man who watches shit movies in order to review them, both groups having likely seen the prior movies. Unsurprisingly, this film features scene after boring scene of banal melodramatic dialogue broken up occasionally by scenes featuring dull stares and cuddling in an open field. There are few things in this world that I find more irritating than people taking themselves and their interactions with others as being the most important thing currently occurring anywhere. The young people these days, however, seem to eat that crap up, due largely to the fact (in my opinion) that their idiot parents instill them with a sense of false over-importance. If you like watching people overestimating their self-worth (and guys wandering around shirtless) you may like this, but if you are like me and despise those sorts of things, I suggest avoiding this 3rd in the series of what is apparently going to be four. There were a couple of halfway decent action sequences featuring nifty albeit unexplained limb-lopping in this (clearly tossed into the film in order to placate the bored boyfriend who was dragged to see this), which I guess is worth a half of a star. Otherwise, it’s an unredeemable overly hormonal emotion-fest.
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